What I Deserve
by HappyBlushCalayapie
Summary: What if Sam had a major lead on Lilith and went after her at the beginning of the episode, leaving Dean in a hotel to sleep while he drove away in the impala with Ruby? Samifer AU, starting with 4.22 "Lucifer Rising". Will have eventual a/some lemon(s).


Title: What I Deserve

TV Show: Supernatural

Pairing: Samifer, slight SamXRuby

Chapter 1: Lucifer Rising

**This is set during the episode "Lucifer Rising". Since I'm way too lazy to re-watch the episode though so I could be super-specific, this is basically my version of the episode (I forgot a lot about it, so just picture this as an AU version). Plus, you guys don't wanna re-read the episode and get only a tiny twist at the end. You wanna read something new! **

**So… what if Sam had a major lead on Lilith and went after her at the beginning of the episode, leaving Dean in a hotel to sleep while he drove away in the impala with Ruby?**

.X.O.X.O.X.

_It's mine… It's all mine… I've waited all my life for this… this something… that belongs only to me… and it's finally __**mine**__…_

Sam woke up. He gasped as he sat up. He looked to his right. Dean was still asleep. He flopped his head back down on his pillow and ran his hand down his face. He turned his head to the left, intending to look at the sun shining through the motel's curtains, but instead was met with the sight of Ruby, who had somehow gotten into the room while they were sleeping. He nearly screamed he was so startled. She quickly clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Shh." she said. He nodded at her. She removed her hand.

"Why the hell?" he whispered to her.

"It's time." she whispered back.

"Time? Time for… no way, you couldn't _mean_—"

"I do. Time to get the revenge you've wanted for a while now. I've found where she is, and we're going now before it's too late."

"Before she leaves?"

"Before she leaves. Now get up. We're gonna go capture a few demons along the way."

They got in the impala.

"Where to?" he asked.

"St. Mary's Convent in Ilchester, Maryland."

"Wow. Specific."

"I worked hard for this information. She'll be scared shitless when she sees you and how strong you are." she smirked. He started the car, and they left the motel parking lot.

"How will we have time to capture some demons if we need to get there fast?"

"We need to be there by night fall, but you need a _lot_ of juice to gank her. Technically, I have the demons captured. It's just that they don't know what I have them there for. They're waiting for me, thinking I'm going to show up and have a meeting with them. They don't know that you're going to drink every single one of them dry."

"How many demons?" Sam resisted the urge to his lips. It had been awhile since he had gotten demon blood. After all… Dean and Bobby had locked him up for awhile in the panic room, trying to keep him from drinking anymore of the stuff that he was so painfully addicted to.

"Six. Don't leave a single drop left in them, either."

"Six? Ruby, I'll get sick!"

"No, Sam, you won't. Because you're special, you can drink an unlimited supply without dying. You're the only human who can take in this much, and even more if you like."

"Even so, I'll feel water-logged… just not with water…"

"It doesn't go to your stomach. It goes to a place that collects energy for your powers. Trust me. You'll be fine, and ready for tonight."

.X.O.X.O.X.

Back with Dean, who had just woken up…

"Bobby, that bitch took my car and ran off! And there's sulfur on Sam's bed, so I'm guessing he's with Ruby!" Dean said angrily into the phone.

"He turned off his phone's GPS too, didn't he?" Bobby said matter-of-factly.

"Yes, and I have no clue where he's going. He seemed to not be craving the stuff anymore. He's a better liar than I thought. Knew we should've kept him locked up longer…"

"Alright, calm down. I'll call up some other hunters and tell them to keep an eye out for him. I hope it helps."

"You do that, Bobby." Dean hung up. He was pissed. He wanted to get on the phone with someone and bitch to them about his problems like a women with three children on her period PMSing hardcore, but he resisted that urge. Not only would it get him nowhere, but it was Sam's job to be the bitch. Not his.

.X.O.X.O.X.

They were nearly at the convent.

"What happened to drinking the demons first?" Sam asked, confused.

"They're in a room underground. We'll be waiting for Lilith, and I have hex bags so she won't detect us." They parked the car and went into the basement.

"Ruby, you whore, untie us!" a female demon with short hair yelled. They were all tied up. "Why did you tie us up if this is just a meeting?!"

"I thought you said they didn't suspect anything." Sam said. "And why are they all girls?"

"We _always_ end up fucking when you drink from me. I figured you'd like girls better than guys." she shrugged.

"You think I'm gonna fuck _all_ these girls?" he asked, not believing her, but feeling a bit—just a _bit_—excited about the idea.

"No, but I figured that if you get hard—and you _will—_you'd feel less guilty if it were a girl's blood making you horny. Now, help me get this loud one up on the table." She started walking over to the demon who had called her a whore. The rope was binding the demon. Sam already knew that it was because Ruby had used another witch's trick to get it done. The demon panicked and thrashed about, wanting to escape from Ruby, but she started dragging her over to the table. "Take this other rope and tie her to the table."

"You whore! You sold us out to a Winchester!" the demon said. The other five girls watched fearfully, knowing that they were next, but not knowing which would come after. It was only a matter of time.

"It's for the greater good. Trust me." Ruby said with a smirk.

.X.O.X.O.X.

Sam took in a deep breath as he finished off demon number five. There was one more to go, and a bunch of lifeless girls piled up on the floor left for dead. As he leisurely walked over to the final girl, who was scared to die, he said to Ruby,

"I had another one of those dreams." He picked the demon up and put her over his shoulder like she was a sack of potatoes. He was a lot stronger—power-wise, and in every other way as well, she could tell.

"And you didn't tell me? How'd it go this time?" Ruby asked. She helped him tie down the screaming demon.

"The person in my dream, the one that I told you about that I can't really see… I was about to find out the person's name… gender… face… it was a big deal for me. I was going to embrace the person. The person was going to be mine, and for whatever reason, it made me excited to be alive."

"Speaking of excitement, I'm surprised that _you're_ not." She was looking at his crotch, referencing something dirty. He blushed a little bit. "Could it be that you like sucking _my_ blood in particular?" she teased.

"…Shut up. It's not that. Not really. I was thinking really hard. I didn't have any time to make myself look good before we left the motel, and for whatever reason, I wish I had gotten dressed up."

"Think you'll meet that person?"

"Sure would be nice. I've been dreaming about… _whoever_ this is… for a really long time. Ever since I started drinking demon blood, actually. It's probably connected, so I should be worried. After all… I know that I shouldn't be feeding these powers. I'm doing it to stop Lilith, and then I'm going to stop."

"You think so, huh?" she said, holding back her amusement. "How many times have you called me in the middle of the night desperate for more? It had _nothing_ to do with Lilith or revenge during those times. You just needed a hit." he was leaning down to the cut that he had made on the demon's neck, but then stopped to glare at Ruby. She felt a little bit of herself leave the body she was possessing he was glaring so hard.

"You're not in any position to piss me off." he leaned down and started drinking the final demon, who was screaming shrilly and begging him to stop. Ruby stood there and watched, slightly turned on by how dark he was being. The fact that he could easily wipe her out of existence at any given time was… _thrilling_.

.X.O.X.O.X.

There was a flutter of wings, and Castiel appeared before Dean, saying very seriously,

"We need to move _now_."

"Whoa Cas, what happened?" Dean asked. He had calmed down quite a bit since a few hours ago.

"If we can't make it in time, your brother is going to destroy Lilith."

"So he drank more demon blood, huh? Right… how do we stop him?"

"I'm not sure we can."

"And why is killing her so bad? Maybe he can stop drinking the stuff once he ganks her. He won't want revenge anymore." Dean said. He knew it was a lie, and wishful thinking, though. Sammy is addicted to the stuff, and Dean knows it.

"Lilith is the final seal. She dies tonight, Lucifer rises."

"What?! Why the hell didn't you say so sooner?! He would have stopped this kamikaze mission of his!"

"We didn't know until it was too late." Castiel lied. He was disobeying orders. He was supposed to let the apocalypse start, and then it could all end. Cas was afraid of falling for his disobedience, but something was off about these orders. Even if the angels were tired, even if they are warriors… they _should_ care about what happens to the humans. This is the final countdown. If they don't make it in time, the end of the world begins.

.X.O.X.O.X.

"It's night. Lilith's here. I feel her." Ruby said.

"I drank so much. I can feel her, too. Feels… disgusting." Sam said darkly. "I'm going to rip her to shreds."

"We need to sneak up on her. I can't wait to see you kill her. You'll be freeing the world of tyranny, and demons from all over the globe will be coming to offer you gifts."

"You act as if they'll be treating me like a god. The _last_ thing I need is godhood. I'm already addicted to the powers I have now. I'll lose my mind if they raise me up that high." She liked how he didn't say something about how being worshiped would get him damned to hell like it says in the bible. It meant that his faith had disappeared.

"I might even worship you myself." she winked at him, slightly joking, but mostly serious. He rolled his eyes.

"Let's do this."

.X.O.X.O.X.

It took several minutes of ultra-quiet stalking to corner Lilith. The doors shut behind them because Ruby pulled them shut with her powers, drowning out Dean's screams, begging for Sam to stop before it was too late, but Sam was too far gone.

"Ruby, you've been a _very_ bad girl." Lilith said.

"You've been much worse." Ruby smirked. "You know how this story ends. And now, you're getting your just desserts. Finish her Sam! Let's end this once and for all!" he started to use his powers on her. Lilith dropped to her knees as smoke started to spill from her mouth. Sam's eyes went totally black as though he were a demon himself, and all of the smoke was pulled from her and obliterated. For extra measure, and purely due to rage, he focused even harder and her guts spilled out, making her body uninhabitable for anyone. He had totally forgotten that there was a real human in that body that could have lived on and had a normal life, and even if he _had_ remembered, Ruby doubted that he would have cared. The blood had changed him over time. He was a different person. She was proud of herself for helping mold him into who he was. The day has come. All good things start for her kind today.

Lilith's blood started leaking from her former body even more excessively, slowly forming into a strange shape.

"…Ruby, what is this?" Sam asked once his eyes returned to normal, and part of his humanity had returned.

"I can't believe it. I should, but I… just can't believe it. You did it, Sam…"

"Did… did _what_?"

"You broke the final seal. And now, Lucifer is rising from his cage." she was filled with joy, and started smiling like a drunken fool. She could die happy now. She had made peace with her lord.

"You… you monster!" he tried to use his powers on her, but he couldn't. He nearly passed out. He dropped to his knees.

"Sorry, Sam. You used all that juice up on Lilith. Now, don't fight it. This is where the good part starts!" The cage opened and the room was enveloped with light. Ruby was obliterated immediately. He heard a high-pitched sound that filled the room, and he dropped to his knees, covering his ears. He felt like his body was being ripped apart. And then, suddenly, the sound became dull background noise, and a voice filtered through… a voice that only he and angels could hear. The voice was sweet and filled with love as though it belonged just to him. He was surprised by that thought. Lucifer? Belonging to him? The voice whispered,

_Sam…_

Then, suddenly, he and Dean were whisked away some place far from there. They were back in the motel that Sam had left Dean at earlier that day, and the impala was parked in the spot Dean intended for it to be. The older Winchester stared at his younger brother, thankful that he was alive, but disappointed in all of the things he had done. Sam was horrified with himself, mostly because all he could think about was how warm the light had made him feel, and how at peace Lucifer's voice had made him. Suddenly, his hunger for demon blood was gone, and an underlying joy consumed every fiber of his being.

'No…' Sam though, looking back at Dean, mirroring his older brother's expression. 'Lucifer's the one I've been looking for?' he thought back to this morning's dream.

_It's mine… It's all mine… I've waited all my life for this… this something… that belongs only to me… and it's finally __**mine**__…_

.X.O.X.O.X.

**Don't worry! I'll continue this. I want reviews first. 10-20 would be nice, thank you very much :) This story won't have many chapters. I love this idea, though. I don't know how I feel about the title, though. If you think the title should be something else, give me a suggestion. If I like it, I'll change it and credit you for the new title :)**


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